He Loves Me Because He Loves Me

A few of you know that over the past few weeks, I have not slept well. This has driven me crazy with my hectic schedule and desperate need to be rested. At first, I wasn't sure what was keeping up night after night.

But after some careful pondering and praying and talking to a few people about this issue, I came to think that it was the stress of not knowing where I was going to go to school in the fall. I sat while my friends received letter after letter of acceptance from their top choices. I sunk deeper as they began to send back letters of intent and fill out roommate and dorm questionnaires. I still hadn't even received anything from any of the schools I had applied to.

However, even after receiving two acceptance letters (from my top two choices) in one week, I still was having trouble sleeping.

I was tired of being tired, of falling asleep in class, of grades dropping, of crazy schedules, among a few other things.

I looked forward to my church's DNOW weekend because it is always a time of spiritual renewal and bonding with friends.

Our speaker for the weekend was really good and I enjoyed talking to him before and after worship throughout the weekend. One of the things that he really went after during his message on Saturday night was that God loves me (everyone) because He loves me. He loves me because He loves me. No other reason than that. I don't have to have a special talent with an instrument or be the number one player on every athletic team imaginable or know everything about computers and electronics. I just have to be me. And He loves me because of it. He loves me because He loves me. Our speaker said that one sentence over and over again. It is so true and simple. He loves because He loves. No other reason. That realization hit home inside.

Afterwards, as we were leaving to go to our host homes, one of my friends that wasn't in my group held out her arms to me. I hugged her back and then tears started streaming down my face. I buried my face in her shoulder and just cried. I was giving her a good bye hug before we went to our separate host homes and I was totally not expecting to cry.

I have not been able to cry in three months and I'm not a crier, but those three months were so hard and I had wanted to cry and felt like crying so many times, but my mind/body wouldn't let my tears work their emotional healing and theraputic powers on me.

I pulled away from our hug and told my friend what was going on. She listened then pulled me back into a hug and spoke some of the most encouraging and powerful words.

"We don't know why God puts us through crap, but He chose you because He knows that you can handle it. Someday down the road, He will use the crap in your life to glorify Him. It's not easy. It's hard. But God knows that you can handle it. You'll get through this. And even though there's more crap to come...Remember that He loves you because He loves you."

It was hard going home that night to different host homes, but it made the time with my friend that much more special.